Allowance is bringing your emotional experience into
conscious awareness. This is the process of allowing
yourself to be aware of your feelings. Allowance is
the starting point, where you begin to examine yourself.
Try the following emotional inquiry. The premise of
this exercise is simple: if you are sad, mad, uncomfortable,
or in pain, allow yourself to feel it.
Step 2 — Use your awareness to identify what
you feel. Tell yourself this:
—I am happy because…I
am uncomfortable because…I feel some sadness because…
Step 3 — Identify what you are experiencing
in the present moment. This time, make no references
to the reasons for your feelings. Let go of the “why.”
Simply say to yourself this:
—I feel pain. or…
I feel anxious. or… I feel frustrated. or …I feel pleasure.
Step 4 — Now, allow it. Accept what you are
feeling as your experience right now. Do not resist
it. Allow it to continue as long as it needs to. If
your feelings begin to change, let them change.
Step 5 — Breathe with it. Consciously begin
to breathe, and at the same time, keep feeling what
you are feeling. Gently deepen your breath for a minute
or so. Just stay with your breath.
Step 6 — After awhile, feel the emotion come
to a place of balance on its own. What you feel now
may be slightly different from when you started. Perhaps
you feel a little peace, some contentment, or connection
with yourself. Continue to stay with what you are feeling
now.
Step 7 — Settle it. Simply place your attention
on your heart and feel this moment as it is. It’s something
that you know, like coming back home. Have a feeling
awareness within your entire body as a whole. Just effortlessly
keep your attention in your body.
That’s it. You can do this process anywhere, anytime,
and it only takes a few minutes. Spend as much time
on it as you wish, depending on the circumstances and
how deeply you want to go. Feel it, and you will
feel released. What you are feeling isn’t what’s making
you suffer; it’s what you are not feeling.
In every moment you have the time to feel, in every
feeling you have the chance to heal, and in every person
there is the power to feel it.